Think of it like a reality TV show, except only online, and without all the prize money and you read it and it isn’t anywhere near as exciting, yet all of the contestants walk away with their dignity (to some degree, that is: we can’t promise anything).
2. Who can post to the Where the Bad Kids Go Blog?
Anyone. As long as you are fascinating but don’t necessarily assume that you are fascinating, because that, in turn, renders you less than fascinating.
3. What happens when I die?
Your “you-ness” will expire, but your subjective self will cease to exist as well, meaning that you will not mourn your own loss, as there will be no ego apparatus left to note your own passing. Your corporeal self will decompose to the base elements out of which it arose, nourishing insects, small animals, soil, vegetation, and countless forms of bacteria. Some other stuff happens too, but I couldn’t really make it out, what with the brilliant tunnel of light and beckoning relatives.
4. If Tonto and Kato were to have a fight to the death, who would win?
This would truly be an exciting contest, as both combatants would bring unique skills and rich cultural traditions to the ring. Tonto has the proud blood of the Native American coursing through his veins and a resourcefulness reflective of his people and their relationship to the Earth. Kato is an expert in a variety of martial arts and, as the Green Hornet’s sidekick, has a shrewd understanding of modern-day battle techniques. Yet after several minutes of fierce combat, both Tonto and Kato would soon realize that it is the White Man who has organized this blood struggle, and – after a brief discussion of strategy – the two would band together, waging a ferocious circus of slaughter against the well-heeled, principally Caucasian attendees of the Great Fight.
5. What is the goal of the Where the Bad Kids Go Blog?
To bring people together, to foster harmony and delight, to showcase the latest, greatest happenings in the (under)world of Heck, to entertain with a vengeance, and to find a cure for the common pancake. (I guess that is more than just one goal. Sorry.)
6. Is bringing a child into this world selfish and cruel?
Considering the swollen world population, the degenerative spiral of civilization in general and the inevitability of global catastrophe…nah, kids are fun and cool. The more the merrier!
7. What is the best way to clean a deer?
The best way to clean a deer is to casually mention to your hunting companion that you thought you saw the deer ingest several diamonds. By morning, your deer should be cleaned and, if there are indeed any diamonds in the pile of entrails, take them and assume a new identity.
8. When is the Where the Bad Kids Go Blog updated?
Seldom.
9. Why do I keep tasting almonds?
You have either just eaten almonds or still have trace amounts of undigested almond on or about your gums, causing mysterious flavor. If you haven’t eaten almonds recently, perhaps the part of your brain that remembers flavor is more highly- developed than that of the average person, and you are experiencing an acute almond “flashback.” The most likely cause, however, is that a close friend, family member or caregiver is trying to poison you.
It was so much fun going to your reading and I got there right when you started the Mad Libs.
Thanks for signing my books now they ROCK even more then before.
Oh and I have been working on this:
(\_/)
( ‘_’)
(> )>o I was going to give you a Heck book
U..U
….(\_/)
….(‘_’ )
.o<( <) But then i was like…
….U..U
…(\_/)
.(O__O)
. (>o<) I LIKE HECK BOOKS!!!
. U….U
(\_/)
( ‘_’)
(> )>o Then i said: sharing is good….
U..U
….(\_/)
….(‘_’ )
.o<( <) But then i was like…
….U..U
I’d like to take this opportunity to thank everyone who showed up at my reading yesterday at Wordstock: the penultimate celebration of all things “book”! That said, I would also like to officially castigate all those who didn’t show—billions of you. You really let me down, especially you sheepherders in the Tibetan village of Xiahe (you know who you are). I shared the stage with the brilliant David Michael Slater (an audience member asked if we were related and, in a sense, we are all brothers—except the women—they would be our sisters, which is weird when I think of my mother and wife both being my sisters…never mind). The audience was supportive and engaged (maybe they’ll get married some day) and several lucky children won OFFICIAL Heck buttons. After a brisk book signing, I led a workshop on marketing to young folks—a subject that no one can ever really master as kids are too smart for such things—but the adults in the group asked great questions and oozed integrity (I trust that’s all they oozed) and seemed to enjoy themselves (one attendee even brought me French fries!). Anyway, Wordstock is an amazing resource for authors and readers alike and I look forward to embarrassing myself next year!
Wordstock—Portland’s premiere literary event—hits town next weekend, and they’ve created these fun, food-themed videos. Give ‘em a look and I hope to see you next Sunday at Wordstock!
The characters of Rapacia: The Second Circle of Heckcan be found within the virtual moneyopolis of MinyanLand, the online home of Hoofy the Bull and Boo the Bear (get it? A bear and bull market?).
It’s a cool little community where you get to play games and make friends, while you learn about earning, saving, spending and giving.The Rapacia Hunt involves Lord Byron, once a self-obsessed poet and now a self-obsessed demon turned inside out. This yuck demon is running amuck in MinyanLand and if you solve the riddle and follow the clues, he’s yours to abuse!
