Monthly Archives: March 2010

Ask Heck: What was your favorite book when you were a kid?

At first, the Peanuts anthologies, then the Hardy Boys, then Jules Verne, then the Foundation Trilogy by Isaac Asimov, then Dune, then Catcher in the Rye, then Crime and Punishment, and then a book of matches.

Ask Heck: What is your middle name?

My middle name is E which is short for Eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee…

Ask Heck: Do you enjoy drawing?

I used to, but the only things I draw lately are the curtains, flies, and negative attention.

Ask Heck: Do you have any pets? What are there names? What’s your favorite food? Pizza?

I wish I had a pet named Peeve. Right now I oversee two dogs. One is Simon (full-name Simon Corn Kernel Happy Tails Basye) who is a 16 year-old Jack Russell Terror/Terrier held together with spite and goiters. The other is a year-old chihuahua named Tula, which is short for Tula. Actually, in terms of chihuahuas, everything is short.

Favorite food? See above. Or, in a pinch, sushi or ethiopian food. Y-U-M. Pizza is good, but—in a house crowded with food allergies—finding the perfect pizza that won’t make one person gassy, the other grumpy, or the other coughing up phlegm, is a problematic fool’s errand with cheese.

Ask Heck: What did you want to be when you grow up as a kid?

I wanted to be a slightly larger kid. Then I wanted to be other people, which is a frustrating endeavor. Even more frustrating is that I wanted to be other people who weren’t even real, like Captain Kirk and Luke Skywalker. As far as jobs, I loved animal, so I thought I’d become a veterinarian, but then I realized you had to give animals shots, remove their giblets occasionally, and sometimes even, you know…put them down (and not in the sense that you would insult them, but actually put them to sleep). So that was out, though if I had served in the military and sworn off meat I could have been a vegetarian veterinarian veteran. I think then it was comic book artist, actor, filmmaker, and rock and roll star: the last dream lasting well into my late 20s-early 30s.

Ask Heck: Did you go to college? If so which one?

Let’s just say that I was trying to “find myself” in college…the first place I should have looked was in bed, trying to sleep for at least 18 hours. After high school, I took a year off and lived on the beach in Southern California, where I soon learned that you need money to live on your own, so I got the worst job EVER: a telephone solicitor. After a couple of months I realized it was idiocy to work all day at a job I hated to pay for living on a beach I never saw because I had to work all day at a job I hated. Next, I went to the Academy of Art College in San Francisco, where I learned neon sculpture and how to draw naked people (luckily I was never asked to make a neon sculpture of a naked person…I can only imagine what would blink), and then to the San Francisco Art Institute where I studied avant-garde filmmaking and film appreciation. That was great because I would watch really, really obscure movies first thing in the morning which would wonderfully skew my whole perspective for the rest of the day. I would also submit ten minutes of blurs and scratches and get an A because of my film’s emotive power and vague allusions to Bergman. Then I went to San Francisco State University and studied journalism and music, until I needed to raise money to buy a new bass amp then got a job.

Ask Heck: What elementary school did you go to and Who was your favorite teacher?

I went to Sherlock Holmes School, that was elementary, my dear reader. Elementary. Actually, I went to Foster City Elementary School in Foster City, California named after Jack T. Foster who I think invented landfill. My favorite teachers were Mrs. Yates in 2nd Grade—she really supported our creativity, even if it interfered with our lessons—Ms. Giachetti in 3rd grade—who was the first and last teacher I ever had a crush on—and Mr. Kopel in 4th Grade, who let me make Super-8 films instead of book reports.