Plot, Plot, Fizz, Fizz


When I do readings and school visits, I often trot out a fun group exercise (no, not my infamous and merciless Jumping Jacks and Jills) where we write a story LIVE. Here are some of the stories we’ve spun:

Wordstock:

Characters: Good Wizard
Bad Wizard

Setting: Super Mario Land

Each of the wizards have their own army. The Bad Wizard tries to kill the Good Wizard’s friend, but the Good Wizard intervenes and receives a broken leg for his trouble. Little do they know, but both wizards are secretly brothers. The Good Wizard stumbles on this (it’s pretty easy to stumble with a broken leg) as he uncovers the Bad Wizard’s plot to kidnap a member of the Wizarding Royalty. The Good Wizard begins his quest to rescue the abducted royalty. The Good Wizard breaks into the Bad Wizard’s secret hideout, rescues the queen, and—upon being discovered—wages a catastrophic battle with the Bad Wizard. Unfortunately, the world blows up, leaving but one large piece of rock floating in space. A passing rocket ship of surviving astronauts, in orbit during the disaster, dub the rock New Earth as they go about their mission. One person, however, is still alive on New Earth. Lindsay Lohan! She, after examining the rubble, learns of the wizard battle that destroyed her planet and vows to become a wizard herself to begin the New Earth, populating it with her conjured slaves!

Newport Prep Academy:

Characters: Bugs Bunny dressed as Superman
The Incredible Hulk

Setting: A Magic Shop in the Forest

Bugs Bunny dressed as Superman and the Incredible Hulk are best friends and like to hang out at the Magic Shop in the Forest. Unfortunately, Bugs Bunny dressed as Superman is playing with a large magician’s hat to see if he can fit inside, you know, like pulling a rabbit out of a hat and it falls on the Incredible Hulk’s nasty green feet. Since he never wears shoes and is prone to explosive anger, he is enraged. Bugs Bunny dressed as Superman tries to run away, but the Incredible Hulk grabs him. Bugs Bunny yells and drops the hat again. Hulk screams “Hulk smash Bunny!” and Bugs Bunny dressed as Superman yells “Help me mom!” Bugs Bunny’s mom, who is also dressed as Superman for reasons unclear, arrives quickly on the scene and, wielding a wicked potato, hurls the spud squarely at the Incredible Hulk. “Hulk mash potato!” yells the green mass of rage. The Incredible Hulk is so furious that he begins to punch himself in the face. The Incredible Hulk quickly subdues himself and falls down, with Bugs Bunny dressed as Superman stomping on his face. He and his mother make an army of evil mutant carrots using the various potions in the Magic Shop in the Forest yet, unfortunately, they bring about doomsday…or do they???

Isaac Newton Magnet School:

Characters: Governor Arnold Schwarzenegger
Sadie Blanchette (student at Isaac Newton)

Setting: An Eternal Void of Nothingness

Governor Arnold Schwarzenegger and Sadie Blanchette are fighting over a giant pickle on Facebook, using the social networking site’s least popular application, Fight Over a Giant Pickle. The contested pickle, without warning or provocation, runs away. Governor Arnold Schwarzenegger is suddenly incredibly depressed while Sadie, meanwhile, spins around in her chair, rubbing her hands together, laughing “Moo-ha-ha!” The Giant Pickle, freed from Facebook, is almost instantly assassinated–apparently—by Shadow the Hedgehog who is working in cahoots with Sadie Blanchette as her paid ninja killer. Governor Arnold Schwarzenegger, upon learning of Sadie’s treachery, releases his secret army of Barbie dolls, equipped with deadly lasers and saws. Meanwhile, the Eternal Void of Nothingness spreads and explodes, but—being nothing—its destruction results in Everything. The universe shifts subtly yet irrevocably as Governor Arnold Schwarzenegger weeps softly to himself at his desk in Sacramento, California. His arch nemesis Sadie Blanchette and his beloved Giant Pickle—not assassinated after all, it seems—have gone missing. Governor Arnold Schwarzenegger performs a few dozen bench presses and then rides into the sunset on his pretty pink unicorn.

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10 responses to “Plot, Plot, Fizz, Fizz

  1. Some kids enjoy writing, others not so much!

    I’ve always wanted to be a writer, from the first time I picked up a book. (my favorite book as a kid was the Wayside School trilogy).

    I’m not sure I have the talent, but writing more is the only way to find out, no?

    I always make sure to finish the things I start, though, because I’ve seen too many authors say that not finishing a story that has been begun is a big mistake as not finishing a book when you are under contract is not an option.

    • Every body has, at least, one book in them. But it takes a special kind of discipline, focus, and odd blend of emotional fragility and fortitude to get that book out into the world. You’ve got to do the work. A sliver of that time is actual inspiration. Mostly it’s desperation and perspiration.

  2. The Bugs Bunny-Hulk story is truly unique. I don’t thin I could write like this either.

  3. sadie blanchette

    OMG IM IN THIS OMG ITS ON THE WEB AND LOLZ!!!! I REMEMBER THIS BEING MADE!

    • Please, Sadie, for the love of Pete or whomever you choose to be your personal savior/shopper, calm down. Do you have an anti-spasmodic handy? Good. Now remember to breath. Yes…you’re not one of those lame people from Old Port that forget how to breath. No, you’re Sadie Blanchette from shiny, spanking Newport. Good times. And, in appreciation for your fine work, I will give you half of everything I make off your story. It’s so hard to split nothing, but I will do my best…I hope you are doing well, or as well as the most evil person in the universe can.

  4. Sadie calm down your jealous my question was pure awesome.

  5. sadie blanchette

    sorry caps lock doesnt like me today but yes i would appreciate half you the nothing you will make in this please…or ill send my army of man eating (or Dale Basye) cockapoos your way agter not feeding them for 7 hundred years

  6. sadie blanchette

    please excuse my lack of editing skill as my friends say i cant edit worth cheese

  7. These people are rather crazy… but my favorite is a student named Jessica Lee

    • Hmmm…I find it interesting that, of all the options, God chose to have a Yahoo account! Jessica Lee, huh? Is she your favorite in terms of the crazy stories, or your favorite human that you have made?

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