Monthly Archives: March 2011

Dear Mr. Basye, How many toes does a turtle have on each leg?

Dear Reader,
By “turtle,” I assume you mean T.U.R.T.L.E. (Tunisian Unrest Rebellion and Tactical Liberation Endeavor) and by “toes,” I take it to mean you are inquiring as to their T.O.E. (Trained Offensive Engager) numbers, and by “leg” I’m assuming you’re referencing their L.E.G. (Legion of Espionage Gathering). Based upon the latest intelligence I have received from a rogue network of operatives analyzing the tumultuous Tunisian situation, a T.U.R.T.L.E. can have between three to five T.O.E.s on each L.E.G., depending on whether that L.E.G. is working in the front or from behind. A T.O.R.T.O.I.S.E. (Tunisian Overt Retaliation and Tactical Offensive Instigation Specialists Enterprise), however, has four T.O.E.S. on each L.E.G. If you an encounter a member of the T.U.R.T.L.E. or T.O.R.T.O.I.S.E. group, it is best to “wash your hands” afterwards to prevent the possibility of “disease.” Also, a T.U.R.T.L.E. or T.O.R.T.O.I.S.E. member becomes quite irate if someone paints his or her S.H.E.L.L. (Strategic High-command Engagement and Liberation Lair). This can not only blow their cover, but makes them look ridiculous.