Buy a box of 12 (that’s almost a dozen) HARDCOVER HECK: WHERE THE BAD KIDS GO books for ONLY $48! Yes, you read that right! And that includes shipping! (Unless you live in some really faraway—to me—expensive-to-ship-to place). Fine, OK, I’ll even sign them. Geez.
Limit: Only your imagination.
Must be 21 or older, or younger than 21, or EXACTLY 21.
Must have access to money and mailmen/women.
If interested, contact email@example.com within mind-your-own-business hours.
* Fart Spray not included.