Tag Archives: aprons with funny sayings on them

Where the Heck is Heck?


Heck-o, readers on the other side of the magic screen. Long time no…well, no nothing. And if I’m anything, it’s a no-nothing. I have been getting emails lately…that fact in and of itself is less than earth-shattering. Many of you probably receive emails. But the ones I have been receiving have been questioning where, when and/or if the next Heck book will be published. Short answer? Heck-if-I-know.

Here’s the skinny: About a year and a half or so (I forget, exactly, as the wound has since scabbed over), I was told that Random House would no longer be publishing my Circles of Heck series: even though I had already submitted the eighth installment, Sadia: The Eighth Circle of Heck. The company had recently merged with Penguin, becoming something of a Random Penguin. And while it was still a House, it was sadly no longer my home. I knew that the merger had streamlined the company, with editors sharing offices and having to cut whatever titles weren’t make the cut, editing-time-to-profit-wise. Meaning, my editor was spending more time than was deemed worth it on my books so I (and many authors) were let loose and reintroduced to the wilds of the non-published.

This sucked. And, since I had two titles to go in my series, no other publishing house (according to my agent) would want to publish and promote another publisher’s series. The only glimmer of hope is that MGM have the option to make the first Heck: Where the Bad Kids Go book into a movie. They have had this right for nearly five years; with the project on its second director and…I don’t know: third or fourth screenwriter.

If the movie happens, this would—ideally—renew interest in the series so that I could properly finish it (or as properly as I can do anything). The option has been extended until the end of the year, so hopefully there will be some movement in this area. There are a lot of talented people involved, so I would love to see this project kicked into production! If the movie doesn’t happen…I don’t know. I could self-publish, but I would want the books to be as high-quality as possible and not look, I don’t know…shabby in comparison to what came before. I’m not even sure if there is a market to make it worth the trouble, as the last book in the series Wise Acres: The Seventh Circle of Heck—while being my favorite of the series—only sold about 2,000 copies.  And, the weird thing is, that book is literally printed on money, so each copy is worth at least $10,000. Be sure to buy a carton today! In any case, I’m open to ideas! As I said before, Sadia is finished and I can’t stand to work on something and not have it see the light of day, or the dark of eternal night.

So that, in a nut-job, is what the haps.

I hope you all are well and swell and not swelling in a well.

“Beast” Wishes,

Dale E. Basye

Heck Nominated for Oregon Reader’s Choice Award!

The Oregon Reader’s Choice Award is an exciting way for discriminating Oregon 4th—12th graders to choose their favorite book in a real-life democratic process.

Oregon students, teachers, and librarians are all able to nominate books based upon a number of criteria, including literary quality, creativity, reading enjoyment, reading level, and regional interest.

This spring, students will decide the winner! Cross your fingers, toes, hooves, and barbed tails!

And, until then, check out the Heck Discussion Guide, courtesy of the Multnomah County Library.

Heck is Real…No Seriously

I’d like to interrupt this blog to bring you a very special announcement from Kevin Sotomayor, Principal of Heck Middle School:

I’m actually the Principal at Heck….. L. Thomas Heck Middle School to be exact!

The school, which will open for the 2009-2010 school year, was named after our recently retired superintendent, Dr. Heck. The school is located just outside of Phoenix, AZ in Litchfield Park Arizona.

We all were very excited and have had a lot of fun with the release of this book, and it’s premise. While the staff isn’t as ‘colorful’ as the one in the book, they do share the same desire to teach what they know.

Hopefully there will be more ‘happenings’ from Heck to share with my staff and students at Heck.

Kevin Sotomayor
Principal, Heck Middle School

How weird is that?

L. Thomas Heck Middle School will occupy 20 acres and house 750 students in sixth through eighth grades. Tom Heck, who was superintendent for almost two decades until he retired in 2007, said it is an “incredible honor” to have the school named after him. He said he has high hopes for the middle school.

“It’s the Litchfield way to include the community so that parents and kids feel like it’s theirs,” Heck said. Heck handpicked Kevin Sotomayor, principal at Palm Valley Elementary, to be the new school’s principal.

“It’s an exciting opportunity,” Sotomayor said. “We get to work from Day 1 to make this something special. We get to shape its identity and make it a community school.”

This is a far cry from the position of Bea “Elsa” Bubb, Heck’s Principal of Darkness, who views her dominion as a colossal burden, and would sooner suck rancid platypus eggs than make Heck anything remotely “community” based, unless that community was one comprised of venomous spiders and booby-trapped Parcheesi games. Here are some other differences:

Sotomayor said he wants parent and student involvement.

“My philosophy as an administrator is to have an open-door policy and take in everyone’s opinions,” he said.

Principal Bubb wants parent and student disembowelment.

“My philosophy as a badministrator is to have an open-door policy…there’s the door…now why don’t you run along before I sic Cerberus on you? I’d love to take in your opinion, but I don’t take in the deluded ramblings of lobotomized monkeys,” she said.

Sotomayor is energetic, has a great sense of humor and is dedicated to bringing high academic standards to Heck.

Bubb, on the other claw, is bitter, sarcastic, and dedicated to bringing high-caloric hamsters into her gaping, fang-rimmed maw.

Here is a picture of various Arizonans breaking ground for the new school.

Fortunately, I couldn’t upload a picture of Bea “Elsa” Bubb breaking wind in her terrible, terrible school.